What happens to Nate at night, revist'd

Alright, I promised a description of the dream I had that's actually been on my mind a lot. I've not only retold it in the cut below, but I've also included a few shoddy illustration, per inspiration by agentkinesis~

Alright, to start off...I actually had this dream a long while back, just before I was to climb Mount Fuji. Thus, there are a few spots I don't remember quite as clearly, but I just thought I'd clarify this was a bit in the past and it's lingered around my head long enough to justify a retelling.

It starts with my in Japan. I'm getting ready to see my family....either to have them come visit me or for me to go home for a bit, can't remember which. But before I meet with them, I decide I should go pick up any mail I might have had delivered. In reality my mailbox is right at the bottom of the stairs of my apartment building, but in the dream it was a couple blocks away, up a big hill and through an alleyway.

I get my bike and I'm riding, then suddenly the road starts to stretch away from me. I ride faster but it doesn't help....also, the higher I get, the darker the sky gets until everything is bathed in indigo-night-light. The road isn't just stretching far away, the buildings are getting taller and curving all over the place. Also, there are a bunch of people on the street....mostly really old Japanese people. But as I go further they look less and less like real people. Also, they stop speaking in Japanese and just start babbling....not only that, but their faces are really no longer human anymore....they look like someone stuck their finger in the skin and swirled up their faces in a spiral....I can't remember if the faces were actually spinning around, but the effect was very creepy. Something along the lines of this:



I start to get really really freaked out, so I turn around and go back to my apartment. The further I go down the hill the less people there are, until I'm completely alone. Also, it stops being night and returns to normal sunlight. However, when I get down to my apartment building I find there are kindergartners EVERYWHERE, running around playing and shouting. I think to myself 'that's a little odd...I guess there's not school for them today.'

To get to the door of my apartment I have to walk around the building, and I start to do so when I see a big clump of kids gathering around something. I can't really make out what's going on, but I see one middle school student making a big ruckus with a cat. There's obviously some sort of struggle going on, but I can't tell if it was the cat or the middle schooler that's in trouble. I know that sounds absurd and pretty entertaining, but in the dream I had a really really really bad feeling about it. I decide to turn around and go to my apartment the other way. I start running cause I'm pretty scared, then suddenly I feel something grab my hand and pull back my arm. It then pushes my head away at the same time, like it's trying to rip off my arm. I can't see what's doing this to me....it could be the cat, the middle schooler or the kindergartners, but whatever it is, it's STRONG! (my money is on the kindergartners....I know from experience that they are dangerous in groups ;P)

I can't really move at this point, but whatever has me starts spinning me around and around, really fast. I try making my way to my door but its no use. Then, all of a sudden whatever has me lets go and is gone. Not only that, but all the kindergartners are gone too and I'm suddenly alone, right in front of my apartment door. At this time it suddenly seems like someone turned up the volume on the color saturation. The sky turns bright yellow, and the grass around me is a rich, deeeeeep green. I look at the door to my apartment in front of me and it's blood red and has a kanji splashed across it in yellow paint.



(In the picture I drew the kanji that means 'forget', but that's just because I can't remember which kanji it was, lol. Actually I don't think that's important at all, just the fact that a kanji had been drawn on my door)

I walk towards the door really wearily...all around me I can hear wind blowing. I open the door and inside there is nothing but inky darkness....it sucks up all the sound around me into it and there is nothing but silence and black. Then I hear a girl's voice whisper:

「日本にはなりません。」

"Nihon niwa narimasen." Ambiguious statement, it could translate to mean a couple different things since there is no subject or object.....directly it would mean 'It does not become in Japan', but for the sake of the dream I took it as 'It's not going to happen in Japan.' (P.S. not being native nor having ever dreamt in Japanese, this is probably a weird-sounding statement...but nevertheless, it was there)

After this there was an huge BOOOOOM! I turned to my left and saw, out from the side of the building, a bright light started shining. Then, it started raining SIDEWAYS from the light source, like gravity had been switched.



I think this was the time in the dream I was most scared, more that the spiral-faced old people, the invisible thing spinning me or even the kindergartners...it felt like there was some huge monster on the other side of the apartment and it was getting closer. I was going to run, but then decided to be brave and look on the other side. I turned the corner and saw....



A giant mountain with beautiful green plants and craggy, deep rocks stretching out in front and all around me. It turns out it wasn't actually raining sideways, it was just the wind blowing down the mountain and bringing water with it (...this,uh, made perfect sense in the dream ^^; ) There was a yellow path stretching out before me and all the way up into the sunlight, above which I assumed was the top of the mountain.

Then I heard a what sounded like a beautiful woman with a breathy voice start singing some sort of lullaby very softly. I sighed deeply and walked off down the path and up the mountain.

Then I woke up.



...SO, this was probably one of the most visually fantastic dreams I've had, period. The one I wrote about last week was pretty awesome, but this one is so deeply burned into my head. Also I think it has a lot of meaning in it....mostly about my feelings about Japan and where I am. I know this dream happened right before I climbed Mt. Fuji, but I don't think it has a thing to do with that....the mountain in the dream felt like something else....something unexpected and full of hope.

I think most of the part that happened at night-time with the old people is my frustration and alienation here....inability to get anywhere or understand anything.

Then, the children....well, my guess there is they are my job, being a teacher here but feeling totally out of control of anything going on with it....going around in circles is probably the lack of accomplishment I get with the job....but the cat. The cat. ...I just don't know about the cat......

The door, kanji and whispering voice. I think that represents the two things that I feel I'm 'accomplishing' while I'm here....being studying Japanese and working on my art. The voice telling me "(it?) (you?) (I?) won't become so Japan' ...well, I think that's pretty self-explanatory.

Then the sideways rain and mountain. That's gotta be the future. Changing my perspective totally, being scared to do so, it being a lot of work but something ultimately rewarding and 'right.'


....that's what I get from it anyway. Perhaps you guys catch something else? Or maybe can explain the freakin cat?